ME: Teen Shepard

I got another self-esteem crysis. When I don't want to draw, I tell myself that this hatred for what I do isn't permanent and it will go away eventually. I keep telling myself that I shouldn't lose courage and have to practice more. But the main problem is when I'm into a “serious” art, I became too serious about it. It became not a hobby, but a job. I don't want to show others my clumsy sketches, that's why I'm giving all I've got when I draw. And then I see the slightest mistake and immediately want to hang myself. This feeling of my imperfection makes me so depressed that I… Well, you can guess.

In short, this time I've submitted a messy sketch instead of a big fully colored picture — for me to be ashamed of. Now I'm looking at it and thinking if I should start saving money for a surgery that will replace my hands from my ass to my shoulders.

The title speaks for itself. Marian Shepard, 18 years old, the beginning of serving in the armed forces. My beloved one suggested that it might be a photo made by one of Marian's colleagues — unexpectedly and spontaneously.